Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
