god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Someone shattered a urinal.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
