pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
