Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Randomize
