I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I need to stop coming to work sober
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
