Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
