i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
