The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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