In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
