they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
