Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
