Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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