It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
