Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
