the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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