I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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