sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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