She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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