I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
