u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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