Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
