lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
