dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Houston, we have a blender
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
