guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
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