If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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