She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
