dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
