So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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