She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
