I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
