I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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