OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
