An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
