I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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