Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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