Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
