you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
