those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
