Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Randomize
