I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
