Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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