She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
