Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
