I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
