She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
