Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You were trust falling into bushes
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
