How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
