ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
