I was born with a shot glass in my hand
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
