I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
