She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
